Being too firm in our goals sets us up for failure, but a firm goal gives us a sense of security and satisfaction because it has a solid foundation. It gives us something tangible and that's what most of us look for when setting goals: a tangible result.
But, often times the process of reaching our goal changes us to the point where our goal has actually shifted to something else. Firm goals are necessary to get us on the road, but we need to be flexible and open to changing our plans because it's really the soft goals that will lead us to our final destination.
This is why it's good to also have a soft goal. Soft goals are emotional. They are a feeling, a state of mind, and reaching that feeling can give us the satisfaction we're looking for in life. Soft goals are made from meaning and purpose. They are the heart and soul of why we do what we do. And it's really the soft goal unspoken that inspires us to create firm goals. Isn't that ironic?
How often have you heard people say that halfway through some plan that they felt it wasn't working for them? Maybe they felt dissatisfied. Maybe they felt unhappy. This is because their unspoken soft goal wasn't achieved and this is why it's important to consider what your soft goal is when setting out to do anything. Your soft goal is your motivation, your enthusiasm.
Your soft goal is your end game.
People are uncomfortable with the idea of soft goals sometimes because they force you to face your uncertainty. They force you to face your vulnerability. They force you to accept that change is an integral part of goal setting.
If we don't adapt, we lose confidence. This is what happens when we get stuck. We become attached to our goal and lose sight of what's really important. We become disappointed, detached, and we don't move forward.
Mistakes help us build confidence and may lead us to form new goals. Possibly and often likely, better ones. Ones that are in alignment with our soft goals.
How do we create a plan for our goals that are both firm and soft?
We aim for a goal that's somewhere right in the middle. Something that gives you the discipline and enthusiasm you need to accomplish what you desire.
Give yourself a solid foundation. This is where your firmness should be : in your roots.
Adapt to mistakes. Learn from mistakes. Discover alternative goals from your mistakes that are in alignment with your soft goal.
Question your motives and your intent. Do this when you feel unnerved. If something unnerves you, it can be a sign that you're off track with your values or where you're going. This is our intuition sending us an alarm message.
Know when to compromise.
Know when to say no.